NASCAR - Jeff Gordon is the Al Gore of NASCAR

There's a (hopefully) hilarious NASCAR parody movie coming out tomorrow. I'm guessing you've already heard about it and have seen the 400 commercials promoting it - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Will Ferrell is one of my favorite comedic actors, as he's starred in some gems: Old School, Wedding Crashers, etc. He plays a NASCAR driver who loses his mind after an accident and when a French driver comes into the series and taunts him.

Given that NASCAR's roots are southern, there's plenty to poke fun at. Hey, we all need to laugh at ourselves every once in a while and not take life so seriously. That's why jokes like "I'm a driver's wife - I DON'T WORK!" are, to me, hilarious. So, what does four-time champion Jeff Gordon have to say about actually turning DOWN a role in the movie? According to Fox Sports, the jokes were a little too much for him. What a farkin' pansy.

"For Gordon, the four-time series champion who runs a close second to Earnhardt in popularity, the industrywide inside jokes were a little too close to comfort for the driver and his sponsors."

"I think it prevented me from being a part of the movie," Gordon said. "We presented it to DuPont and our other sponsors talked about it, and although I think the movie is going to be hilarious - and I don't mind laughing at things within our sport - it wasn't the type of movie that I could have been part of.

"I would have liked to, but after seeing the script, there were some moments in there that I questioned because of the type of image I like to put out for myself and DuPont and our sponsors."

Are you kidding me?? Some asshole at DuPont is going to pull your sponsorship because of some parody rated PG-13? Jeff, you need to get over yourself. This isn't some cheap porno flick. I realize you have a new lady in your life to support and all, but lighten up, man. What is Mr. DuPont going to do? Yell at you and say you were a bad boy? Is Mr. Pepsi Cola going to tell Hendrick Motorsports to fire you? Dude, you already come across as stiff as a piece of plywood. This would have been a great time to erase that image, but you just reinforced it!

I hope Jeff has DNF this weekend at Indy because he's such a stiffy.